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learning to love


February is often thought of as the month of love. Yes, traditionally it is about love for another and another towards you, often with a romantic context.

However, my focus is about loving YOU. Loving ourselves is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.

To love yourself requires feeling worthy to love yourself. Feeling worthy requires us to see ourselves with self awareness and a willingness to accept ourselves.

This can be difficult for many of us based on things we have experienced in the past, the messages we may have received as even as early as when we were young children.

Truly, your worth is a part of your deep down inner true nature and at your core you are beautiful. You are love and you are magnificent.

Learning to love ourselves is and ongoing process and is definitely not a one-time event. Dedicate your life to loving you. Be willing to grow as a person and know that life is a journey. We are here to learn and love on a deeper level. One step at a time is enough to proceed forward.​

In my experience and unfortunately for many others, we received some serious messages about our lack of self worth and therefore we do not understand how truly magnificent we really are.​

Self-rejection and neglect is painful. You deserve to be happy. You have a right to be accepted and loved. If necessary, seek help from a support group, counselor, or coach. It’s the best investment you can make.​

Because we are all interconnected, when I love me, I also love you. Together through our love, we can heal ourselves, each other, and the world. Love is our purpose, our true calling. It begins with and within each of us.​

As part of my own lessons of learning to love myself, I wrote my first book that was published this past summer and is called “The Woman I Love: Surviving, Healing and Thriving After a Childhood of Sexual, Emotional and Physical Abuse.

In writing my book, I began to uncover so much that helped me to heal and for the first time really understand my own self worth and beauty.

I had no idea that the issues I had faced as a child was something faced by countless numbers of both men and women. For the most part it colored their worlds miserable well into adulthood. Domestic violence is in the same category. Statistics are horrible and inaccurate, but I have now met (through my first book) many, many people who have decided to rise above the pain of their past. They have begun the healing work of loving themselves.

This is what let me to write my second book called “We Choose to Thrive: Our Voices Rising in Unison to Share with Abuse Survivors a Message of Hope and Inspiration for Healing.” ​

In the pages of this book you will find the stories of 31 amazing women who have the love, the heart, the courage and the wisdom to share their stories with you.

While we mention what happened to us, we don’t dwell there. We talk about what we have done and what we are currently doing to be well adjusted, happy and productive.

We’ve done our healing work for ourselves first and foremost and as we began to heal, that seeped out to our families, our communities, our countries and our world. We also know that it takes constant attention to our thoughts and feelings as there can be triggers of memory that can threaten to derail our efforts.

Each of us has been a victim of abuse, some beginning in childhood, others later on as adults with domestic violence or even rape. You will find stories from sea to shining sea, women from all around Canada and the U.S., Australia and even one with roots in Guatemala. You will discover that the perpetrators of abuse do not respect ethnic backgrounds, socio-economic backgrounds, or religious backgrounds. Abuse is abuse no matter what kind, and there is no measuring device that can predict the impact it has on the victim, no matter how significant or insignificant the abuse may seem.

What we all have in common is our deep desire to share with abuse survivors around the world that they too can heal, that they are NOT alone. We share our journey, the resources and most of all the mindset that we needed to adopt to achieve the rich and happy lives we are now living. It truly is a journey.

Will you step up and make a choice to love yourself and thrive? Are you willing to do what it takes? Are you willing to change your focus? We’ve all heard the saying, “What you focus on expands.” Are you ready to focus on loving you, healing and thriving?

We invite you to join us, so you know you are NOT alone and can find the support you need to either continue or begin your own journey. www.thewomanilove.com